rephrase that dyslexic czech boy.

I would make youtube videos in Europe for everyone back home so I would feel less forgotten. I didn't particularly love making them because I saw myself as, for lack of a better word, silly (I already seem awkward enough as is when out of the public eye of video). I became more sullenly introverted in Prague over time and it showed through the course of passing months as well as in the chronological order of these videos. Even my speech began to suffer. For instance, notice below in the last video of my walking into work; I used the wrong preposition - "this is the business office to the school I work at". As a result of frequently listening to Czechs broken English then combined with my own neurotic disarraying thoughts, I had succumbed to casual gibberish without even my realising. I couldn't use too large of a vocabulary around clients because it would go beyond their intellect of English - which could be humiliating for them and myself. The typical conversations I had on most days other than work was going into one of the 300 bakeries/sandwich shops throughout Prague, and making my order with carefully enunciated speech followed by gawky hand gestures.

1."Dobry den.... (good day)

2. I... want...two(point up two fingers with one hand and the other hand signals the item of choice) of these... please....

3. Yes (nod).. Take away.

4. Na shledanou (thank you)."

Day in and day out I often felt functionally impaired.
It's more perturbing than it may seem.

Refreshing news for a change.

I made some slight change of plans of where I will be living in Prague. I will be living in a nicer and more centralized area of the city now instead of staying at the accomodations my school provided for me. I will be living in district 7 in a flat that houses an entire floor with six or seven roommates. The building was constructed in 1920, and I really love the architecture of it. Here are a few pictures of the building, room, and neighborhood.

Bedroom

Closer inspection of the ceiling.

Building.

street.

Balcony with one of my roommates, Martin.

(The best part. I will be paying $250 in US currency to live there per month. )


!!!!!!!

friends.

Greg

Martin

I have been going through bouts of temperamental moods these last couple of days, which is why I haven’t updated. My friend of two years, Gregory Johnston , took his own life Monday night. Life doesn't prepare you for challenges like this. I have never had a friend die before, especially from suicide. It is such a deplorable waste. I found the general feeling of my mood to be that of anger. I have now tried to subdue that to the best of my ability because getting angry will take nothing back, and of course will not bring him back. I suppose the best step to take is to enduringly treasure his memory, and the happiness he did bring to those who knew best. Gregory was an intricate soul. Our friendship evolved because we had very similar understandings on life, and hangups.We enjoyed some of the same obscure tastes in music.He used sarcasm in a whimsical fasion that never failed to make me smile. He loved his cat more than he did with many people. Greg loved pop culture. He hated kimberly stewart in the funniest way possible. Greg could sing. Singing I think is what made him most happy. He had talent too. A yr ago he was kind enough to let me listen to a couple of demos he recorded. It makes me sad to know he did not pursue that more. I really believe he had potential with that, and so much more. His funeral is this Saturday morning, and I will be attending. From this tragedy, many people have come together as a whole from what I have seen thus far and I should be seeing many people whom I haven't seen or spent time with in over a year. I kind of took a step out from the gay scene for awhile. I was contemplating on going to the viewing today or tommorow to be able to say goodbye to him in a more personable sense, but I can't. Call it cowardly on my part, but I can't bring myself to see him in that light. I guess I shall see how Saturday goes.

In other news, I think I have found a permanent roommate in Prague in a flat in a nice district of the city after my orientation is over at the end of June. His name is Martin, and he has proven already be a considerate and caring friend.

These next few weeks for me will be going by quicker than I had ever anticipated. As of tommorow, It will be 4 weeks until my departure. I will try and have my goodbye dinner/hotel party all reserved with invites ready to go by the end of this weekend. That will be on June 16th.

With this news about Gregory, it puts much into perspective. Life seems too short to care right now about stupid trivialities that concern ex boyfriends. I am over it. And I am thankful to all those I am fortunate enough to care for and be cared for in return. Genuinity is not easy to come by. And I have seen it more within the last 2 weeks, than I can say I have seen in years... Through best friends, through old friends, and even through a boy whom I just met. It all has been quite nice.