Clearly, I am analytical.

It's been habitual for at least the last 5 years. In respect to my blog, I like to purge myself in making representational examinations of myself, the points I make are at times explicit and clear, or just overly neurotic driven by precariousness. Regardless of what sources motivate a blog it will almost never be concise in articulation.
I could write about my daily affairs in a dramatic Dear Diary tone.

Dear Diary, work today was drab.

Dear Diary, I am never drinking again, and this is why...

This is the demeanour by which I wrote in my LiveJournal for years - but then I steadily grew up, as well as away from that technique. Though for once, I think I will incorporate a story of interest so I can not seem so ambiguous with the origin of where my perspective is deriving from.

I work with a fellow named Colin that analyses just as much as I do. The current deliberation between us is of a fellow that works a street away from me that came into my work and seemingly flirted with me last weekend. Now very little has happened since then, but with all the analysing we have done over subtle, meaningless antics, it made it seem like a lot more has ensued. On Monday, on my day off, I went into his workplace with a book and an apple, and the person of interest served me a soy latte. I, however, was too timid to instigate a casual conversation in the same forward manner he did. I quietly sat with my book, looked up occasionally to make a couple of improvisational comments to him if was nearby. There is a certain amount of time that passes until one feels more like a lurker rather than a customer, so I decided it was in my best interest to leave out of risking embarrassment. I didn't get very far before I convinced myself to go ahead and take the initiative to see if he would like to hang out later if wasn't busy. He said he would love to, but he had plans later and said he would get back to me Wednesday. I smiled and sort of walked away in a shy stupor. Today he walked in again to say he still is really busy. I just acknowledged it casually, and told him to drop by whenever. In hindsight, it would of been wise to have gave him my phone number, but until I actually engage with someone freely I feel this overwhelming amount of pressure in a moment. I can not seem to be able to behave naturally and candidly; I'll trip, I'll gaze at the floor for a moment when I talk - all sorts of asinine conduct has the chance to take place. Normally, I wouldn't make the effort to be this onward, but as my previous blog discussed, I am trying to veer away from my typical trends of "dating". I admit, it has its spontaneous additives, but still, nothing detracts away from my innate clumsiness. I get misrepresented fairly easily as a result. I'm progressing though, I suppose I can just think of this as practise.

On a unrelated note -
I bought a new book tonight - The Blank Slate by Steven Pinker. It was recommended by my favourite evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins. I read the preface at Goldfish Tea tonight and was pleased so far.Lately, I am becoming more engrossed in scientific books that argue that our biology plays an influence in the concept of human nature and modern life through genetic factors as well as environmental. I personally find it fascinating to sort this out. The refusal to acknowledge human nature is like the Evangelicals ignorance to evolution, but worse: it perverts our sciences and education, our public discourse, and the everyday lives we lead. It's well known that a single contradiction can corrupt a set of facts and then allow a string of fables to propagate through it. For that reason, I more than ever find it crucial to understand the factual and tangible world we live in. Some, including my own family, have argued that I may be too literal or unimaginative. I humbly dispute that; I just like to understand why I am so short in height by nature in the same understanding to why I am suspicious by nature. I know I can't reach these kinds of answers in a bible or in a daily horoscope. Accepting a conclusion just because it is convenient or readily available is just weak and dastardly.

Anyways, I know I am not mundane, and I am not always complex. My friends can speak for how animated I can get. :)


Dear Diary, I want to dance.