I had some difficulty falling asleep last night.
I rationalise myself as an Atheist because of science and because of the cultural divides it invokes throughout the masses. My understanding of science has aided me in intellectualizing my resolve for concepts of unexplained, universal life forces at works. However, with that discernment being self-evident, I had never really considered and allowed myself to altogether comprehend what this exactly explicates -
that this is the only life I will have - materially and transcendentally.

We often distort the factual world we live in due to the adoration our society reveres for spirituality and private belief, whether it be religious or new age in interpretation. Human beings are innately delicate and often inclined in believing that we are entitled to another life besides the tangible one we embody. Nowadays we can't to see to be able to escape from superstition in the literary world, the entertainment industry,health industry that causes us to distance ourselves from reality because it's enlightening in the prospects of 'something else to come'. Nonetheless, we all know that just something is consoling doesn't make it true. Science fiction in film on the subject of the paranormal can prove engaging with respect to its thematic elements. When I was a teenager I wasn't interested much in paranormal oddities. I was rather fond of comic book superheros because I was engaged by their anatomical structures. Primarily with the mutants of the Marvel Universe; reason being that they were genetic byproducts, just as we are, in a more farfetched imaginative sense. I will say I was particularly fond of Stephen King's 'The Shining'. The scene with the creepy ghost twins whom were bludgeoned by their father by means of an ax left an impressionable mark on my conscious. Though I was able to distinguish all the entertainment value of it from reality. Some suscepitable people however are just enticed too far with their imagination, and then can make preposterous assertions that they deem as valid. Which seems harmless in regards to one individuals tailoured delusion, but when numerous people make a claim aware, it has the trend for it to gain ground and reverence. Unlike the concept of ghosts and spirits, the religious convert their assertions into anabridged convictions - initiated by a legion of devoted followers. Consequentially, this should raise questions in how we perceive the methodical differences between isolated hallucinogenic behaviour in contrast to systematic mass illusion.
Think about it - if one person has the delusion that they speak in telepathic transmissions to a metaphysical being that resides on the surface of the Earth's moon, one could say this would be a fairly lonely feeling; particularly because no one else would believe this and he or she would be omitted as mad bonkers. Ones faith would need a lot of suring up to be absolutely convinced that the supernatural entity that's communicating to them via moon is irrefutably real. Now if millions upon millions of people shared this exact same strong belief, this would give tremendous reinforcement to the faith of the idea that there is a celestial being on our moon. Group solidarity is remarkably seductive.

Getting back to what I originally intended to say with respect to now being fully self aware that after my life is lived. There will be no departing soul, no reincarnation, no said afterlife that will be selected for me based upon what kind of moral life I led - which is elucidated differently by dozens of disparate religions and denominations. When I die, there will be blackness and nothing more. I laid awake in my bed last night and pondered that very thought, and I admit, I was overcome with angst for a few moments. Then clarity - I saw just how precious my life is, and how far more liberating to free myself from believing there are beneficial and dire consequences at stake based on the accordance of how I live.

I want compatible monogamous love, professional fulfillment, all intertwined into a encouraging environment.
It is said that Sweden and the Czech Republic are the most Atheistic countries to live in. Having lived in one them already I think Sweden would be more progressive change of pace one day.

I guess we'll see.

"We are going to die and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they're never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place, but who will, in fact, never see the light of day, outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. ...In the face of these stupefying odds, it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. Here's another respect in which we are lucky. The universe is older than a hundred million centuries. Within a comparable time, the sun will swell to a red giant and engulf the earth. Every century of hundreds of millions has been in its time, or will be when its time comes, the present century. The present moves from the past to the future like a tiny spotlight inching its way along a gigantic ruler of time. Everything behind the spotlight is in darkness, the darkness of the dead past. Everything ahead of the spotlight is in the darkness of the unknown future. The odds of your century being the one in the spotlight are the same as the odds that a penny, tossed down at random, will land on a particular ant crawling somewhere on the road from New York to San Francisco. You are lucky to be alive and so am I."